Lessons Learned in a Year Abroad…

Last year, pre-COVID-19, I got to study abroad at one of England’s historic universities. Durham University was the backdrop for my introduction to a full English breakfast, the enviable tradition of getting to wear academic gowns to dinner, and the practice of calling my lecturers by their first names, all of which I adopted with the tenacity and admiration of a wide-eyed American who watched too many British period dramas growing up. 

During a pandemic, romanticizing the past is easy, so I remind myself to acknowledge the challenges I encountered. These challenges helped me grow my perspective about being an Asian American student abroad, and deserve recognition. So here are three challenges I faced and what I learned from them. Hopefully, this will be helpful for our community members who are considering studying or living abroad for the first time. 

1. Grappling with belonging

While a huge majority of the strangers I encountered abroad, both in the U.K., and on my travels were incredibly kind, I did not anticipate how isolating being the sole Asian American student at my college would feel. Most people were well meaning, but I came away from many interactions where people were surprised I was American or assumed I was an international student from Asia. For a while, I felt like I had to prove my ‘Americanness’ to strangers. It was an important step for me to realise that I didn’t have anything to prove and that it’s okay to feel ambiguous with regards to belonging. Embracing this helped me better understand the experience of being Asian and American abroad. It’s okay to feel untethered.

2. Being your own representation

I think there is the assumption that the culture of British academia at the third oldest university in England is overwhelmingly white and male. Portrayals of British universities, social media dedicated to the ‘dark academia’ aesthetics, etc., all lack significant representation for people of colour. I often felt out of place because I was unused to seeing portrayals of people who looked like me within the environment of medieval castles. That’s why I’m so grateful to artists like Gemma Chan, whose filmwork allows me to immerse myself in history that I previously felt left out of. For many young women who have not yet entered the workforce, cultural and social exclusionism will be one of the first of many types they encounter, and better representation and accessibility in seemingly niche areas would do a lot to enable women to have the kind of university experience they dream of.

3. Trivial things can be really hard when you are alone

Finally, I struggled with being understanding of my past self. My very first day in England, I felt so homesick, I curled up on my bed in my wet rain jacket and cried. Looking back, my first reaction is to feel deeply embarrassed, but it is so important to acknowledge how emotionally difficult moving to a new country can be, and to have empathy for yourself. Small tasks like getting tons of luggage up the stairs or going through a bout of the flu suddenly feel like huge endeavors when you have only yourself to rely on. I didn’t anticipate this aspect of moving abroad, and wish I’d spent less time self-critiquing. Remember to be gentle with yourself in the moment and be forgiving in retrospect.

My experiences abroad made me realise how much work there is to be done towards deconstructing the barriers that young women face at university. Formal halls, balls, travel, and even the feeling of belonging are narrowly accessible. I wanted to translate all I’d learned in my History degree about deconstructing systemic educational inequality into policies that would have very real impacts on women today.

I also fell very much in love with the interconnectedness of the world and was inspired by the amazing ways in which women from Germany, New Zealand, and the U.S., to name just a few, found commonality and encouraged one another, despite different upbringings across continents. My best friend from Durham, Camelia, continues to inspire and uplift me to this day. The phrase ‘empowered women empower women’ is completely unhindered by geography, and I’m so excited to see that manifest itself as I prepare to graduate university.

Isabelle Ng (she/ her/ hers) has recently joined our team as a Newsletter Coordinator. She is currently an undergraduate History student at Boston College and focuses on gender in the Early Modern period.