The Day I Befriended a Soviet Rebel

author: Kanchi Mathur

Kanchi Mathur is a Master's graduate in Geopolitics and International Relations. Her hobbies are reading classic novels on a Sunday morning while drinking coffee and hopes to be on the cover of Vogue India one day!

I was 21 when I first learnt about Alexandra Mikhailovna Kollontai. Little did I know, she would change who I am as a person and everything I do.

Alexandra Kollontai (1872-1952) was a Russian revolutionary, diplomat, politician and Marxist theoretician whose ideas on the relationship between class struggle and the subjugation of women were incredibly prominent in Soviet Russia and are still relevant today.

Kollontai’s ideas on the role of class in determining women’s roles in society can help us understand feminism and the impact of class divisions on the same. Her ideas on sexuality, free love and mental health helped me in developing an attitude that many today call “rebellious.”

Kollontai’s writings are still relevant and can help us to understand feminism today. Here are some of the things I think Alexandra  Kollantai can teach us: 

Discrimination is instilled in most of us: 

One of the most important things that Kollontai’s work can teach us is to look for stereotypes in unsaid social laws and conventions that have continued to play a huge part in making women feel inferior. 

A concept known as ‘the women question’ consists of an expansive set of debates within western political literary and societal thought from the 19th century onwards on the political rights (such as citizenship, property, access to the public sphere and political virtue) of women. Slowly these debates also started to include arguments on women’s professional status and education.

From Kollontai’s assessment of this debate, ‘The Social Basis of the Women’s question’ we can learn how a particular community of bourgeois (or elite) scholars have ended up determining debates around women’s rights and role in the society for women from all walks of life. She also teaches us that discrimination amongst women have caused different communities of women to fight against another. 

Kollontai argues that the debate around equality for women is largely powered by a group of elite women. This initially triggered me, but later I noticed how narratives on feminism are shaped by a small community of white women who are more or less from the same economic, social and racial backgrounds.

We should not need other women’s approval on how we should be. Always remember, be who you are, strut your stuff and don’t worry about other people’s opinions.

The struggle for women’s rights cannot achieve success without men

Hear me out. While male-dominated social rules have continued to suppress women but Kollontai teaches us we should all aim to move beyond gender stereotypes, as they affect all of us.

Kollontai’s arguments make us look closely at how society expects men to behave and exist in a ‘particular manner’ that is mandated and validated by them. This can help us to understand that the fight against ‘backward and regressive’ norms is one that we all need to fight together.

Women’s Mental Health is as important as women’s choices regarding career, family, marriage etc

Kollontai was probably one of the first women to address women’s mental health issues. When we look at some of the women in our lives we can see how many times they have been pressurised to be ‘perfect’ in all that they do; because that’s what’s expected of them. One mistake and we are all termed ‘irresponsible.’

Her writings taught me that mental health is closely linked to the pressure society puts on us to be a particular way and that it is not really an error on our part if we refuse to follow norms that make no rhyme or sense to us. 

It is important to understand that women are subtly taught to always be psychologically dependent on someone else’s validation for their existence. This again surprisingly we can see being done by more women than men. 

Free Love 

Kollontai’s ideas on “free love” and embracing one’s own sexuality can help us in embracing ourselves in a positive way. Kollontai’s unabashed bravery became a core part of my personality. She teaches us how to be bold, courageous, and unapologetic for the way we choose to live our lives. She can even teach us that every woman has a right to live her life the way she desires. Kollontai’s ideas on love and marriage can teach us that a ‘marriage is a marriage only when it is between equals and doesn’t make either feel stuck in a cage’. 

The personal is indeed political

One of the most important things that Kollontai can teach us is that it’s crucial to talk and address the abuse that many women go through on a daily basis.

She teaches us that it’s important for women from all walks of life to come together to address the issue of violence affecting women that so many women almost around the world go through alone. It is time for us to be vocal about abuse against women.

Concluding Thoughts

Alexandra Kollontai’s writings can help us question a lot of societal norms and gender stereotypes. Her writings have shaped who I am and inspired my feminism. I hope her ideas inspire you too!

Edited by Ashvini Rae

Published 11th May 2021